Thursday, July 22, 2021

Finding My Person

This year I turned 36 and I received an unexpected surprise to celebrate my birthday.

I previously shared how birthdays turned from once an enjoyable experience to one of emotional devastation along with other milestone holidays. 

When I turned 35 last year, it was my first birthday to celebrate with my boyfriend, Mike. It remained a difficult day for me but Mike and my coworkers did their best to help me celebrate. However, it was the best birthday I had experienced since 2015 when a close friend of mine came to visit from out of state and took me on a full day birthday celebration. I learned that my birthday could be a day to look forward to with Mike. 

This year's birthday was even better. Not only did I not feel alone but I also wasn't consumed by my usual emotional turmoil surrounding milestones. I attribute part of this to the unanticipated healing experience I encountered through a Reiki session in April. I've noticed since this Reiki session that I have significantly reduced the frequency of time I fixate on my life expectancy and my fear of losing my parents. This reduction was helpful to allow me to focus on celebrating my birthday rather than focusing on negative and fearful thoughts. 

After my divorce, my views on relationships and marriage greatly changed. I never expected to allow myself to feel deeply for another person again after my divorce. I unexpectedly found a great love again after my divorce that would end after a year together. While this break up was a painful experience, it taught me that I could indeed love deeply once again. With this knowledge tucked away, I remained open to finding love again in the future although I didn't let relationships overly worry me.

Me and Mike

I happened across meeting Mike through a dating app and didn't expect much of anything to occur. He seemed nice and a week after our first date, he started asking to see me a couple of times a week. I encountered a few emotionally difficult incidents which were complicated by the sudden departure in my life by a couple individuals who I had thought cared for me. Mike, however, stood by me and was extremely supportive. Within a month, we decided to become exclusive and we found ourselves falling in love with one another. He soon began to collaborate with me on Life's a Polyp by creating designs for Life's a Polyp Shop and brainstorming ideas with me. His son even inspired two characters that are featured in my children's book about Familial Adenomatous Polyposis that is being published in 2022: Life’s a Polyp with Zeke and Katie

Before I knew it, our relationship reached our one year anniversary and we were talking about spending our lives together. I am opposed to marriage and Mike is indifferent to the idea of marriage. We agreed we would some day exchange commitment rings when we were ready to commit our lives to one another but we would not seek legal marriage.

To celebrate my birthday this year, Mike surprised me with a commitment ring. So, of course, I provided him a ring in return. 

I'm thrilled to share that I found my person!

3 rings
Our 3 Rings Together

When we shared with Mike's son about our commitment rings, he asked for one of his own too!