Showing posts with label Employment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Employment. Show all posts

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Living for Work


chronically working life's a polyp

My pediatric GI doctor talked to me and my parents about my chances for Social Security Disability (SSD) Benefits to ease the financial burden associated with my chronic illness since I was a child. I grew up hearing about how I would be able to obtain SSD benefits if I applied. My parents opted to never apply for SSD benefits for myself as they didn't want me to see myself as different from other children and teenagers and were fortunately financially able to withstand the financial burden my health placed upon them.

For me, SSD benefits was never an option truly placed upon the table but I also knew that my doctor and my parents hoped I would be able to physically complete my schooling and obtain full time employment and become a financially independent person - but that this was not a given but rather a hope as none of us were sure how my health would withstand the such physical stress.

So I put forth my full effort into the tasks of life. My parents home schooled me for a year in grade school due to my health not allowing me to meet the attendance requirements of public school during the first year of my surgeries. And in high school I risked inability to graduate on time during another physically trying year with medical tests, procedures, surgeries, and multiple hospitalizations. I was only able graduate high school due to the kindness of one of my high school teachers agreeing to tutor me during my home study absence period.

In college, I endured regular hospitalizations due to difficulty maintaining my electrolytes. My college professors worked with me to allow me to complete my assignments and exams around my hospitalizations as needed. My health stabilized the year I graduated college affording me attendance to graduate school and my practicums with minimal difficulty.

However, when I started my first full time job the stress would become too much for my body. I was traveling around the state on a daily basis, even to the borders of my state on a bimonthly basis. My employer was not overly accepting of my health. After consulting with my parents about my health and financial situation, I was forced to resign for the sake of my health.

I was not defeated though. I allowed myself a month of rest before re-entering the work place with a different employer. I had learned new ways to cope with the stress of full time employment and how to deal with an employer. I succeeded at maintaining my health even when this employer entered the realm of a hostile work environment. I found a new position with yet another employer who works with me on my health issues and have been able to maintain full time employment ever since without difficulty for 7 years now.

With abrupt health changes over the last two years, especially during this year, I began to worry about my ability to maintain full time employment. Without my employment I would become dependent upon attempting to obtain SSD benefit approval and assistance from my parents in the meantime. SSD benefit approval is not necessarily an easy task to achieve and can take years. Even after approval, you are often required to wait another two years for Medicare health insurance to become available.

life's a polyp
My greatest fears in life include not being able to financially support myself and to become nursing home dependent or homeless and to be able to care for my parents as needed. When I was married, I was less fearful of these risks as my home was a two person income home. However, I had to weigh the financial risks I could potentially be under when I divorced. When I divorced, I was accepting that I am solely responsible for my financial well-being regardless of my health. I would be at greater risk of my greatest fears becoming a reality if unable to maintain employment. When I divorced, I learned a new level of independence that I vowed to fiercley protect and cherish for all my days on Earth even if that I meant I had to work until my death. No longer would I allow myself fairy tale dreams of being a stay at home wife - I would forever be a working woman for as long as I required and am able.

And with this new attitude and determination, I admit that I live to work. It's not out of enjoyment or because I'm a workaholic but rather out of necessity for my surival and mental sanity. My health has always been unpredictable causing my future to be unpredictable. I will ferociously hold onto the few things I can control in my life with an intense tenacity. It is due to this outlook, that I dismiss others when they say it's no life to live to work. For others this may be true, but it doesn't hold true for me. Rather, I increase my ability to survive physically and mentally when I focus on maintaining my employment ability for as long as I am able - even if that means I work past retirement age. The more I work, the more financially stable I become, the more I am able to prepare for the uncertain turns my health will take that is chronic illness.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Working While Chronically Ill

working with chronic illness life's a polyp

Balancing employment and health is a challenging experience. The demands of a job and the toll of stress and exertion upon a chronically ill body is a balancing act not to be taken lightly. With proper care, the right circumstances, and a bit of luck it can be achieved.

Although my pediatric doctor adamantly believed I would qualify for disability due to my health, I was determined to make my own career. I've been fortunate to be able to maintain full time employment for the last 7 years although there are times that I seriously worry about my ability to continue working. I've learned a lot about the importance of self-care during my career thus far in order to maintain my employment status. My parents instilled upon me a strong work ethic. Combine this dedication to my work with my own hard-headedness and determination and a concoction is created for increased stress and susceptibility to illness.

During my first year of full time employment I experienced first hand the serious threat stress places upon the body. I was over-worked and still learning how to handle working 40+ hours a week while maintaining my own health. My body could only withstand the stress for so long. After about 6 months my health began to suffer and I was experiencing flare ups on an almost daily basis. I was forced to quit my job. I took a month to find another job during which time I recovered my health and have been able to work ever since after learning lessons in self-care.

I still struggle with managing my own self-care as I often accept additional responsibilities for a temporary period or insist upon working just a bit longer even when I am ill. I've learned that these behaviors place extraordinary stress upon myself physically and mentally and often result in a flare up. Therefore maintaining my usual responsibilities and taking time off when necessary are absolutely essential for my well-being.

I've learned to pace myself in my work. There are days when I am able to work 10 hours for the day and other days when I can only manage 4 hours. Instead of pushing myself past my breaking point, I must assess my health and my capability and balance it with my work load not only for the day but for the week before I recover during the weekend. If I need to work longer on a particular day, I've learned to lighten my load and increase my resting period on the day prior to my long work day.

For the past 4 months I have been battling anemia after a trial period without iron or B12 medication. I became so fatigued that I was hardly able to keep my eyes open past 11 am on average. I was experiencing multiple symptoms of iron and B12 deficiency and my daily functioning was greatly impaired. I began to worry about my ability to remain employed as my work performance was suffering and unacceptable in my eyes. I voiced my concerns to my managers and restarted my B12 medication on my own. I had to make a change before my functioning continued to diminish.

My employers are aware of my health issues and work with me to help me balance my health and my work. Working for an understanding employer has been key to my employment sustainability. I'm able to flex my time as needed, utilize intermittent Family Medical Leave of Absence, and continue my efforts to maintain a high work performance while monitoring my health status. My managers work with me on bad days and appreciate my good days. They have faith that I will complete my responsibilities, if not today then within a timely manner.

It takes a combination of effort and measures to maintain the best of health particularly when undergoing additional demands upon your body and health. Finding the correct combination for balance takes time and effort of trial and error. It's important to not compare your level of functioning to another as one person's balance set won't be the same balance set for another. It's vital for our well-being to find our own balance and not push ourselves past that balance in order to thrive with whatever endeavors we're pursuing.