Saturday, March 12, 2016

To the Broken Hearted

broken hearted  life's a polyp

After disclosing about my own journey through broken heartedness and divorce while dealing with my chronic illness, I heard from several people who had gone through similar trials and it touched my heart.

Regardless of the type of relationship, those of us with a chronic illness are more vulnerable in our relationships than our healthier counterparts. We open ourselves in ways others aren't forced to expose. We are more at risk of losing ourselves as we learn to lean on another to help us through our health struggles and we begin to share our health experiences with another. When the relationship ends, regardless of reason, we are vulnerable as we regain our footing and independence.

This is dedicated to all those who are broken hearted and struggling.

Your soul has been ripped apart as you stare down at the tattered pieces of your heart.

The pain sears your soul leaving you tender, hurt, and confused.

All that you knew changed in an instant and you're left not knowing where to turn or what to do.

You fell into a spiral of lost control frantically grasping to regain your footing.

I've been where you are now. My soul was torched, my heart in pieces, and my spirit broken. I didn't know what to do. My sole remaining purpose was just to survive. My mind couldn't handle more than mere survival. I was trapped, suffocating in my heart break, desperately clawing at my own spiritual grave. Clawing for relief, for light, for healing.

One day my heart mended enough that the suffocation began to lessen bit by bit until one day I burst forth from my grave and found myself soaring with the strength of the eagles. A transformation was taking place but it could only occur after the flames of soul searing pain had burned long and hard until finally extinguishing themselves.

With a new found strength I realized I deserved better. A better state of mind, better days, a better life. I accepted that I deserved happiness and that I could create my own happiness by being true to myself. I learned to accept myself, to do things for myself, and to follow my heart. I was only able to learn these lessons though after I felt my pain and survived it. I was stronger and better for it.

Your days may be long and your nights hard. Your tender heart vulnerable in its current state. But you will not remain here. You will burst forth from the flames that presently surround you. You will survive and be better for your heartache. Let yourself feel the pain so that you may process the pain. Take the time you need for self-healing and self-loving. Make this part of your daily ritual for self-care.

This is your time, your life. No one can steal this grand moment in the making from you without your permission. Savor this moment, relish in your self-worth. You are worth it and so much more. You are not your heartache. You are a survivor with a story to tell and a life to create.

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