Sunday, October 25, 2015

Feeling Your Heart

feeling your heart  life's a polyp
Life is a confusing, beautiful mess full of opportunities for both joy and heartache. We can take many paths in our navigation through what life offers us yet we often choose the most complicated route. We consume ourselves with fear and worry about the dreaded what if's that are never entirely answered properly as our imaginations our set free in a whirlwind of confusion. Life is not necessarily simple in our experiences but I believe we can simplify our paths by merely feeling our hearts.

Tuning into our hearts and what we are feeling can be called many things: inner voice, intuition, gut instincts, faith, etc. Whatever your preference for terminology, paying attention to the words of our hearts and souls seems to make a difference. We allow ourselves to obtain peace and comfort as we make life decisions and let go of anxieties when we listen to ourselves.

Listening to what our hearts say can only occur when we are honest with ourselves - free of preconceived ideas and intentions. We must open our minds and ourselves to all realities, not just what we want. It is easy to confuse what we want with what we need, whether it's physical, emotional, or financial. We all have ulterior motives to obtain what we want even when dealing with ourselves.

As we begin letting go of that which holds us captive through fear and anxiety, we learn to make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time. Part of this information is knowing how we feel about a situation and about the options available.

We listen by identifying what we are feeling and allowing ourselves to feel those feelings rather than rushing through one feeling to the next. This helps in all realms of life whether it is releasing fear and anxiety, making a decision, resetting ourselves spiritually, self-discovery, and coping with life. It is particularly useful in emotional healing from grief or trauma as we cope and adjust to a life change. Not allowing the process to flow naturally and completely can be harmful as we can delude ourselves in believing that which is false within us. Rebound relationships, incomplete grieving, and yoyoing of depression and anger are common examples of rushing this natural process.

Let us not hide from our feelings, viewing them as a weakness or an inconvenience. Rather let us honor our feelings for what they are - a gift that lets us experience life in the fullest. Joy and heartache are neither to shrink back from - both lead us to the depths of unimaginable feelings and experiences that ultimately try to teach us gratitude and strength.


  1. Jenny,

    Thank you for your writing and sharing from your heart. You are an excellent writer. I am surprised that you do not have more comments. Such a weird paradox or irony that I am discovering. The most trivial and vain articles on the internet nowadays are plentiful with comments and other nonsense. In contrast, articles written with such pure honesty and passion from the heart apparently does not challenge others to look inside themselves and have the courage to admit at times that no answers come forth at times.

    I am not the best writer so please forgive if I used the words 'paradox' and/or 'irony' in the wrong context. Today, I am more focused on sharing my own thoughts and feelings than literal or grammatical accuracies.

    As for me, I have FAP and have a desmoid tumor. Our family found out via my oldest brother, 5 years older than me, just as I was about to graduate from college. My first five years after college were awful and provided a quick education for me about real life. Here I had a college degree in my hand but figured out that I had no clue how easy my life was until that day when our family had to face its greatest challenge to date. I am persuaded that nothing going forward in my life or my family will eclipse the very real earthquake that shook our family to the foundation and experienced cracks during that season of life.

    I have more to share but not the energy right now. I at least wanted to show respect for your writings here on your blog by commenting and sharing a little about my own journey. I was up off and on most of the night last night dealing with emotions, frustration, and anger related to this disease called FAP and then Desmoid Tumors and then probably something else in a few years most likely... I deal with chronic pain most of the time which leaves me no energy for thing I am most passionate in life about.

    I am not sure where I would be right now if it weren't for the four most awesome blessings a person could ever ask for... That would be my wife, Cheryl, who is the most patient and forgiving person in the entire world along with our three children. Our oldest is our daughter Margaret and she is in 6th grade. Our next oldest child is our daughter Veronica and she is in 2nd grade. Our youngest child is our son Michael and he is in 1st grade.

    So thanks for your awesome articles. After a terrible night, reading some of your posts is just the medicine I needed this morning!

    A fellow FAP traveler,
    Mark McKee

    1. I definitely feel you, FAP comes with such a large range of emotions and side effects as a result of the treatments and risks we undergo. I'm so glad that you found some solace in my posts and am so grateful for your kindness! I wish you and your family the very best. Are you part of the online communities through Facebook? There is much support there to be added to such a wonderful in person support network like yours.